Why does each man kill the thing he loves?

He kills the thing he loves because he is afraid that he might lose himself to it. Afraid that in the consummation of his desire he will no longer retain any potency as a man, he will have given way to passion, become fluid, blurred his boundaries, become like a woman. Masculinity is fraught by its continual rejection of the Other. In order to be a contained self, the man must not be porous to love or women. He must be fixed, he must not change. He must be rational. And so he is continually anxious that he will not be able to maintain this excessive policing of his own boundaries. He stages and enforces loss and vulnerability for the purposes of maintain control over his own identity and the identities of those defined as “Other.”